Dear V

Dear V,

I am insanely jealous of my roommates for one reason and one reason only: They all have boyfriends, and I do not. I used to be the kind of girl who was able to preoccupy herself with other things, but more and more I find myself dwelling on a boyfriend. Maybe it’s because everyone else seems to have one, and I don’t. It’s not that I feel left out, but I feel a little lonely and pathetic because their lives seem to be 100 times more exciting and 100 times happier than mine. Even writing to you about my problem makes me feel like a loser because everyone always tells you that it’s not worth your time to have problems over guys.


Dear Reader,

It’s funny that you mention that last sentence in your question because even the girls who say that it’s never worth anyone’s time to get upset over guy problems (a.k.a. yours truly) still get upset! Though friends are hand-picked family, especially at school, everyone still needs a significant other outlet to rely upon because a friend can only do so much, unfortunately. I think that your friends might be a little weirded out if you asked them to snuggle with you or hold your hand at the movies!

Anyway, I think that it’s time for you to get out there and strut your stuff! How are you ever going to meet anyone if you’re too preoccupied by your loneliness to meet new guys and new friends in general? One can never ever have enough acquaintances or “going out buddies,” and I think that you might want to find a few single acquaintances with whom you can go out; with all deference to anyone who is currently in a relationship, I highly doubt that your attached friends are a real “blast” to go out with these days, as I’m sure the thought of cuddling up to their honey bunnies is far more appealing to them than getting beer spilled all over them by some dorky guy in the Grove.

Anywho, don’t let your roommies’ fun spoil yours! You’re young! You’re gorgeous! Let them waste away at the movies or in front of the television, you have got a love life to lead!

I hope you know that guys and the human race overall find girls who are passionately interested in something, anything, far more desirable than those who are aloof and boring. Think about your own friends-aren’t most of them passionately interested in something? Yeah, sure, so they may like to knit, or bake banana bread-I didn’t say that their pursuits had to be remotely interesting to you, though who doesn’t love a friend who can knit scarves with the greatest of ease? My point is, and if I may steal this line from another one of those droll teen flicks, interested is interesting; there’ s not a whole lot more to it. So, continue to keep most of yourself preoccupied with whatever the hell it is that you’re interested in while keeping an eye peeled for a member of the opposite sex, and things are going to get a lot less lonely.

Best of luck!


Fact o’ the Day.Oculolinctus is a fetish whereby people are sexually aroused by licking an eyeball.sweet.

Please send probing inquiries to DearV@hotmail.com or drop V a line in her box in the office of The Hurricane. All questions and comments will remain anonymous.

November 18, 2005


The Miami Hurricane

Student newspaper at the University of Miami

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The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly on Thursdays during the regular academic year.