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Dear V – Toying with two hearts may leave the player burned

Dear V,

I cheated on this guy who isn’t my boyfriend, but who is more like my best friend with benefits. The problem is that I cheated on him with his roommate, but my best friend doesn’t know it, or at least I think that he doesn’t. It’s getting really hard to keep juggling the two because I end up going home with a different one every single night, back to my room of course, and then lying to them both about what’s going on the next day. Am I cheating? Is it OK to keep doing what I’m doing? What should I do?

Swinger

Dear Reader,

I hope you realize that what goes around eventually comes around. What you’re doing is not wrong, but you are not exactly a paragon for golden behavior either-but hey, all’s fair in love and war, right?

I find it hard to believe that your best friend-who you are not cheating on by the way-doesn’t realize what’s up. If he truly is completely oblivious to the situation right underneath his nose, try and keep it that way to avoid destroying friendships. Obviously, the moral line of reasoning would dictate that I try and tell you to cool the romantic relations with both your best friend and his roommie, but that’s about as likely as pigs flying. If anything, you might want to solely kill things with the roommie, but I’m sure at this point that is pretty unlikely, too. Just realize that eventually the you-know-what will probably hit the fan, and that you will end up getting blamed for almost everything. I know that it’s not fair because it takes two to tango, yada, yada, yada, but how often is it that the girl always bears the brunt of the blame for no specified reason? All the freakin’ time; I guess that poor Hester Prynn’s story has taught us nothing about “social” justice. Anyway, in my humble opinion, your best friend’s roommate’s behavior is just as smarmy as your own. I realize that in strict black and white theory, you did nothing wrong because you were never officially dating your friend, but it’s awfully hard to apply black and white to feelings, emotions, hormones and insane bouts of human behavior. Though I’m sure you just got swept up in the heat of the moment and never set out to intentionally cause a major rift between these guys or between you and your best friend, your loosey goosey behavior might cost you your integrity, a few friendships and perhaps a temporary drop in self-respect. It’s a tough way to learn a serious lesson about not toying with people for your own personal gain.

So, how do you quell a guilty conscience? Good question. Owning up to your “I technically did nothing wrong, but its still lousy” behavior is the best way to rid yourself of guilt. But, I have a strong feeling that brutal honesty is not your forte, so you’re just going to have to sit tight and wait for things to blow over.

Best of Luck!

Fact o’ the Day.An average person’s yearly fast food intake will also include the ingestion of 12 pubic hairs.yum, bring on the Big Macs.

Please send probing inquiries to DearV@hotmail.com or drop V a line in her box in the office of The Hurricane. All questions and comments will remain anonymous.

November 15, 2005

Reporters

The Miami Hurricane

Student newspaper at the University of Miami


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The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.