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Dear V

Dear V,

So the other night I attended a party in which many, and I mean many, of my friends also attended. The problem was that my social circles intertwined around me and I felt strangely awkward. Furthermore, two boys that I am very close to and my male roommate were also in attendance, all of whom have made romantic advances towards me. I have yet to make my decision about the guys. I don’t quite know who I like the best! Any ideas on how to please everyone in case the situation arises again while I’m trying to figure it out?

Popular?

Dear Reader,

Must be freakin’ nice to have this kind of a “problem,” captain cool. If only we could all be so lucky! Geez, these days I’m trying to figure out where I would rather watch television-lying in bed or lying on the couch-and those are my Friday nights! I don’t know what I would do with myself if I not only attended parties but also had two boys pursing me simultaneously. Actually, I would probably pee in my pants.

Anyway, enough of my distracting self-deprecating humor, this answer is supposed to be all about you. So, I think that having all of your different groups of friends hanging around and mingling with one another makes you edgy for a few reasons. First off, it’s possible that you take personal responsibility for your friends’ social interactions with one another, like you have to play the stressful role of grand mediator for all of these people.

The second reason why you might feel uncomfortable is that while I’m sure that you don’t have multiple personalities, it is very plausible that you present different personas to all of these different social circles; perhaps you didn’t know which identity to wear at the party.

The third explanation for your awkward behavior is perhaps the most sinister of all. One derives a strange sense of achievement and pride out of her social abilities, and when one has put in the time and the effort to create such a diverse social life for herself, it’s important that she and no one else manipulate her social circle. I’m not exactly trying to say that you want to be the only queen bee (but, who doesn’t?) but I’m sure it’s disconcerting to know that friends from Group A could mix with friends from Group B and start hanging out overnight, while it may have taken you months to garner friendships with Group B.

So, maybe your awkwardness stems from your little inner control freak; what’s yours is yours and what’s mine is mine, and that’s the way it should always be. It’s petty behavior no doubt, but humans somehow seem to excel in nasty and trivial areas. The best way to get over yourself? Keep making new friends, and try to tone down your conceited airs. Your friends are allowed to be friends with other people, no matter how green with envy you may become. Honestly, get a life, or read a book or something.

And as for your boy issues, pschaa!! That’s pretty simple; don’t date your roommate until you’re no longer roomies. And, as for the other two? They’re not a problem, that is unless you’re into monogamy.

Best of luck!

V.

Fact o’ the Day.The typical human will spend a good 600 hours of his or her life having sex between the ages of 20 and 70.

Please send probing inquiries to DearV@hotmail.com or drop V a line in her box in the office of The Hurricane. All questions and comments will remain anonymous.

November 11, 2005

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The Miami Hurricane

Student newspaper at the University of Miami


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The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.