Uncategorized

Dear V – Caught with pants down: how to salvage awkward roomie situation

Dear V,

I’m living in the dorms with my roommate, whom I don’t really see often or talk to. When we do see each other, we trade pleasantries and get along on a superficial level. I am in morning classes, and he takes afternoon classes, so we really don’t see much of each other, which is fine by me.

Three days ago, I returned from classes and my roommate was not there. I got on my computer, checked my email, and I don’t know how to say it, but I ended up masturbating to some pornography I downloaded. A few minutes later, I’m startled by the door opening, I rush to put my clothes on before the door opens, but I’m unable to. When my roommate walks in, I’m a deer caught in headlights, as is he… only for a moment.

After a brief moment of utter awkwardness, he shuts the door behind him and stands there, staring at me. “Don’t stop on account of me,” he whispers. I put my clothes on and stormed out of the room. “Where are you going?” he shouted as I rushed out. I didn’t respond. I haven’t returned to my dorm room since. Honestly, I’m afraid to. What should I do?

Thanks,

Dirty and disgusted

Dear Reader,

Well, like all other intensely awkward moments, you can either forget about what happened, leave it in the past and act like nothing out of the ordinary occurred, or you can rehash the incident and try and talk about it with your roommate. But, in your case I might request a room change, especially if you don’t swing that way.

Let’s face it, masturbating to computer porn in the middle of the afternoon in your room was probably not the best idea. Perhaps you assumed that you were in the clear, the “knock or I will kill you” ribbon was tied around the door handle, and you were good to go. Whatever. Hate to break it to you, but your voyeur of a roommate sounds creepy, and if you’re not comfortable with someone, it’s probably time to close up shop and move out.

In my opinion, some incidents are way too mortifying to even try and talk out. Plus, like you stated above, you don’t even know this kid-definitely a good thing-so it’s not like you have a deep friendship to salvage here. If you are an optimist, it’s not so bad that he caught you in this benign act as opposed to tangoing in the sheets; things could have been a lot worse. In the meantime, head back to your room, let him know that you’re moving out and make your peaces before you get the hell out of there.

Best of luck!

V.

Fact O’ the Day…Seven out of 10 people would admit an STD to his or her partner, but only 50 percent of people would admit an affair.

Please send probing inquiries to DearV@hotmail.com or drop V a line in her box in the office of The Hurricane. All questions and comments will remain anonymous.

October 21, 2005

Reporters

The Miami Hurricane

Student newspaper at the University of Miami


Around the Web
  • Miami Herald
  • UM News
  • HurricaneSports

Either the Miami Hurricanes get a collective adrenaline rush from heart-palpitating fourth quarters, ...

The question came straight at Ahmmon Richards, like a tight spiral. And this time, he didn’t hesitat ...

1. DOLPHINS: Miami seeks revenge vs. hated, Stinkin' Jets: Dolphins host Jets Sunday with Miami ...

Notes and observations on UM’s 27-19 win against Syracuse: • A UM source said Mark Richt seemed more ...

View photos from the Syracuse at Miami game Saturday, Oct. 21, 2017, at Hard Rock Stadium in Miami G ...

Univeristy of Miami’s Wynwood Art Gallery holds its annual faculty exhibition featuring thought-prov ...

From a game simulating how whales navigate to a tribute to Ella Fitzgerald, the U showcased some of ...

A new mobile game called Blues and Reds, now available worldwide, aims to help researchers study int ...

A major Lancet Commission report, a three-year project headed by UM’s Professor Felicia Knaul and co ...

With a $6.8 million NIH grant, the UM School of Nursing and Health Studies and FIU Robert Stempel Co ...

The Hurricanes grabbed four interceptions and another ACC victory as they defeated Syracuse, 27-19, ...

The Miami women's tennis team wrapped up play Sunday the ITA Southeast Regional Championships P ...

As a Hurricane Club member, you are invited to participate in the 25th Annual University of Miami Ha ...

Kolby Bird had a career-high 21 kills, but the Hurricanes dropped a five-set battle to Notre Dame on ...

The Miami soccer team recognized its four seniors Sunday afternoon and then dropped a hard-fought 2- ...

TMH Twitter Feed
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.