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Etc. Dear VHoliday blues: Friends studying abroad and unhealed broken hearts abound

Dear V,

Please help me! All of my friends are leaving to go abroad next semester, including my best buddy! I don’t know what I’m going to do without them. I’m already feeling the loneliness, and they haven’t even left yet! I’m worried that I’m going to end up locking myself in my dorm room all next semester, eating myself to 200 pounds and sitting in the dark. I don’t know what I’m going to do without them.

Is it too late to pack my bags too?

Dear Reader,

Unfortunately, yes, I think that applications are past due for foreign trips next semester, but you can still make it out alive next semester without all of your friends. Maybe you should treat next semester as “you rejuvenating time” if you know what I mean. When was the last time you were able to get to know those acquaintances down the hall a little bit better or actually get around to reading that book you bought two years ago? Yeah, exactly my point, you will be able to treat the semester as a bit of a clean slate. No friends? Time to make some new ones. Too much spare time on your hands? Try the Wellness Center, or join some type of activity that interests you. Really, the possibilities are endless if you keep chipper, optimistic and open to all sorts of new things that are bound to come your way now that you have the time to explore and exploit them. Furthermore, and I really hate to scare you, but what do you think happens once you graduate? You and your college friends resort to commune-type, utopian living outside of the dorms? I don’t think so, sweetheart. It might be way down the line, but one day you and your friends will part separate ways unwillingly in search of your twenties and the rest of your lives. So, while it is massively important to cherish the time that you have with your friends in the here and the now, it is even more important to find that strength within yourself and garner the ability to keep moving without your friends and on your own.

Knowing others is wisdom;

Knowing the self is enlightenment;

Mastering others is strength;

Mastering the self is true power.

-Lao-Tzu

Lots of luck!

V.

Dear V,

I broke up with my first serious boyfriend about a year ago, and I don’t think that I’m quite over him yet. I always find myself moping around. All of my friends and my family ask me what’s wrong, and I really have no clue. I miss him and just wish that I could get on with my life.

Not over him ever

Dear Reader,

So it has been a year and still no progress? Still stuck in a greedy rut? So what is going on with you my dear? It is very normal to feel lonely when you’ve broken up with a serious boyfriend, but perhaps your grieving process has spilled into some type of prolonged depression. If this is the case, and I think that it may be considering that you’ve been apart from your ex-boyfriend for a year, it might be time to go talk it out with a professional.

Meanwhile, don’t let the holidays get to you! Holiday blues + PTBS (Post-Traumatic Break-up Stress) are a lethally blue combination, and something that you don’t need to battle while you’re studying for finals and battling the malls and your empty bank account. Try to keep yourself afloat socially – stay surrounded by loved ones and friends (and yes, they do exist, you are not living in a hole) right now. But please, I urge you, if you still feel isolated and lonely, put down the holiday bubbly and find some help, because this problem probably won’t resolve itself on its own.

Lots of luck!

V.

The average Bahamian consumes about 15 liters of Ethanol-type alcohol per year – the highest rate of consumption in the world. The Spanish come in second with 13 liters per head, and Americans remain steady at about 10 liters of alcohol per head, per year…Cheers to that!

Happy Holidays everyone! See you in January!

December 3, 2004

Reporters

The Miami Hurricane

Student newspaper at the University of Miami


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The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly on Thursdays during the regular academic year.