Dear V How to keep your old friends and find some new hook-ups

Dear V,
I’ve lost touch with my friends from home; they don’t know me anymore, but I still hold onto their friendships. When is it better to just let go of old high school friendships and move along with college ones?
Friend faux pas?

Dear Reader,
It is completely normal to lose old good friends and gain new good friends as you progress through college. Not only is it normal, but I would be concerned if you hadn’t made any solid friends in college and stuck instead to the comfy recesses of your high school friends; your lack of socializing might signal a deficiency in your own personal growth and an unwillingness to leave your comfort zone. Obviously, as a constantly maturing and growing person, it’s only natural for your interests to change and your opinions to waver. I’m not trying to suggest that you find friends whose beliefs mirror your own in every shape and form, but it is human nature to seek out people with whom you are similar.
Why is it that your high school friends no longer know you? Is it because you decided to cut them out your life? Is it because you don’t get along or butt heads? I don’t really see why you can’t keep your high school friendships and move along with your college relationships simultaneously. Unfortunately, your friendships with people from high school will probably not be as tight as they were back then because you don’t spend the same type of time with these people, and cannot intimately nurture these relationships along as you once did. This being said, don’t forget that one day your college relationships will one day reach the stage that your high school friendships are at now – surviving, but also distant. Likewise, you and your old friends still share the memories of the close bond that you once had, which, for many “old friends” sustains these types of timeless connections.
If I were you, I wouldn’t drop my high school friends at all. Instead, I would work on improving your relations with these people. Seeing them over breaks, talking to them on the phone or via email are all good ways to rekindle the flames with these folks. Honestly, and this is something I learned years too late, you really can never have too many friends. Old friends may not be close in proximity or communication at times, but they can still be close at heart.
Good luck,

Dear V,
I’ve renounced my long-standing celibacy, and I’m ready to get back out there into the flesh market. Where should I start?
Sexy Stan

Dear Stan,
Welcome back! I’m sure that someone has missed you since you’ve been on hiatus. I’m curious as to just what exactly it is that you’re looking to find on the meat market – a relationship, a steady hookup or a little bit of everything? If you’re looking for anything less than a relationship or a steady hookup, you really don’t need to do much searching, unfortunately. Any place with people and liquor will remedy your problems.
However, if you’re above the incessant and annoying “random hookup,” and really would like to click with someone on a higher level, you need to start meeting people with common interests to your own. Duh. Like art? Drag a few of your willing friends to art galleries and network around. Into sports? It’s time to join the coed intramural team that your friends have been bugging you to join forever. And so on and so on.
Of course, another workable angle is having your friends introduce you to their friends. A messy approach, granted what can happen if things don’t work out, but a very viable one in the same bit. Furthermore, ever tried a house party? I know an awful lot of long time and in love couples that met at random Ponce soirees. It does happen. Believe it. And if you’re really desperate for a little companionship, there is always Match.com; I’m sure that you’ve seen the annoying commercials, too (sorry, I couldn’t resist).
Good luck!

Friday Fun Facts…Women are 30 percent more sexually active during a full moon, and the rate of sexual intercourse among humans hits its peak in July…So just how many full moons occur in July then?

See you next week!

Please submit all questions, comments or concerns to DearV@hotmail.com or to the Dear V box in the offices of the Hurricane. All submissions are strictly confidential. Dear V. is published on Tuesdays and Fridays, and yes, V will respond to almost (don’t push it) anything.

November 19, 2004


The Miami Hurricane

Student newspaper at the University of Miami

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The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly on Thursdays during the regular academic year.