Dear V: Two readers,two cases of the blahs: Passive boys and sucky times

Dear V,
I’m in this brand new relationship with a guy that I really like a lot. But, I’m really bothered by his passivity. He lets me make all of the decisions because he’s afraid that I might get angry with him, but I’m really starting to get upset with his lack of input. I don’t really know what’s going on, but would really appreciate it if you could help me out. Thanks!
So Blah

Dear So Blah,
It kind of sounds like you are really bored with this guy, and I personally feel like the words brand new and boredom shouldn’t mix, you know what I mean, jellybean? It’s like riding a bike built for two, by yourself; it’s just too unnecessarily hard to have to deal with. Obviously, we all know that the dynamics of a real relationship require the input of two individual people, but sometimes we don’t all follow that rule. Maybe your problem is rooted in the way you communicate with one another – have you, at one point or another, been super dominating and perhaps come off really harshly? Try monitoring yourself the next time the two of you are trying to figure out what to do.
I think that it would be in your best interest to flat out tell him how much his ,ber-compliance annoys the hell out of you and how you feel like he’s just not interested in the two of you as a couple. Save yourself future emotional damage and let him know ASAP. Do you really want to be in a long-term relationship with yourself? Something tells me not.
Best of Luck,
Dear V,
I’m in a funk. I hate school, my friends have been really sucky lately, and there is still another month until Thanksgiving! I don’t know why I feel like this, but I just wish that all of this negativity would go away. Help!
Usually friendly

Dear Usually,
You have a case of the blahs, and it’s totally normal. It’s so easy to be burnt out by all of the life around you and not even notice that you’re dragging. Friends, school, 4 a.m. bedtimes and everything else can kind of suck the life out of what was once your optimistic, smiley self and leave you dismal, blas

October 19, 2004


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The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly on Thursdays during the regular academic year.