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Etc. So many boys, so little time

Dear V,
I just met someone and I feel like I am completely infatuated with this person. The feelings that I have are completely new to me, and I really don’t know how to act or what to say around my massive crush. I obviously want to take things slow because I want it to work out. So, when do I begin to take things to the next level emotionally without setting myself up for disappointment or saying something at the wrong time? Is there a certain amount of time? Please help me with this one.
Sincerely,
Lost…but loving

Lost,
Hmm, so you want to know when you begin to take things to the next level? So you want to know how you’re supposed to act? And you don’t want to make the massive mistake of saying something at the wrong time? Well, well, well, if only there was one set of answers to all of your questions! Surely, the world would be even more populated than it is already.
First of all, there is no “certain” amount of time, or time bracket per se that you need to fit your romance into; some people marry their loves of a month, and others take five years to realize that they have been in love all along. Obviously, you already know your comfort level-you want to take things slowly, but surely. As for all of these nasty little practicalities of which you speak, I can only offer the most exhausted guidance: Please, please, please relax and be yourself. Love is not logic, but I wish it were.
Hope all is meant to be.
V.

Dear V,
I feel as if I am having a massive identity crisis. I, a former critic of the Greek system, have accepted a bid. I really don’t know if I am making the right decision and in a funny way, I feel like I am being a hypocrite by joining something that formerly I was so greatly opposed. What do you think I should do?
To Greek or not to Greek
P.S. A lot of my friends, most of who would never rush, are judging me because I accepted a bid.

Dear Greek,
Don’t you just love it when “friends” take it upon themselves to totally butt into your life and suddenly become your greatest critic? As if life weren’t hard enough already! Besides all of your friend issues, you, my friend, are having a massive identity crisis-but it’s not a bad thing. I don’t know whoever said “once you’ve thought it, set it in stone and never change it,” but he or she was wrong and obviously practicing what he or she was preaching. Gross. I commend your decision to branch out beyond yourself and try something new because of sheer interest. Way to utilize your God-given or whatever right to be curious.
Godspeed and have fun!
V.

Dear V,
I have a huge problem. Here goes…I had a crush on the guy across the hall from me, until I met his friend. His friend and I hooked up a few times and ended up having sex. I don’t want a relationship, but I think that I really do like him. I see him all the time, but whenever we’re together all I get is an extended hug or a peck on the cheek. I really don’t know where I should go with this, but any advice would be very appreciated.
Help!!!
Lost in Translation.

Hi Lost,
Wow. Welcome to college. This is a tricky one-you don’t want a relationship, had a crush on his friend, but know that you like him. Can we say mass confusion? Indeed. I feel like you’re kind of aggravated with the fact that all you get from him is a hug or a little kiss-but, this is a good thing! The vast majority of these random sexual encounters end in snarky sideward glances and those “I am looking straight through you” even though I saw you naked a few hours ago” non-looks during daytime hours. In my humble opinion, ask him what the deal is because I think that you might be very happy with his answer.
Doesn’t it feel good to be loved?
V.
Dear V,
I am seriously in love with two people. My old diehard crush from high school has recently re-entered the picture, but I have also fallen head over heels for my best guy friend here at school. I don’t know if I should wait until Thanksgiving/Christmas break to decide which I want to be with or if I should just go straight for my friend here.
Thanks so much,
Too Many Boys

Hi Too Many,
You should be so lucky! I wish that my barren love life were half as exciting as yours! You, my darling have several options from which to choose. If you feel so inclined to be bold, take them both on right now on very loose terms-a little skanky, I know, but not totally unrealistic. Likewise, you can wait the looooong, excruciating, lonely two months until Thanksgiving, make your move and either be totally thrilled with your confession of love or experience the nasty flip side of crushing; remember, don’t let yourself be just another piece of ass, unless you want to be. Also, I am not an advocate of the long distance, long-term college relationship. It only adds stress to an already overburdened life.
You could also make a beeline towards your best friend at school, and try to plunge into an exclusive relationship with him-not a bad plan considering that you do coexist within a two-mile radius of one another. Again, if it doesn’t work out, you might not have a best friend. Go for your first option, and let it be known that I am so jealous!
Ain’t life grand, sweetheart?
V.

Something to ponder: “Life is like a beautiful melody, only the lyrics are messed up” -Courtesy of our good friend Anon.

Dear V can be reached at dearv@hotmail.com or in her box at the offices of The Hurricane. All inquiries and comments will remain, unfortunately, confidential.

September 24, 2004

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The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.