Opinion

Will John Kerry please start flexing his muscles?

But the bad boss come up laughin’ at John Henry.

Said, You full of vinegar now, but you about through!

We gonna get a steam drill to do your share of drivin’,

Then what’s all them muscles gonna do? Huh, John Henry?

Gonna take a little bit of vinegar out of you.

That’s from “The Legend of John Henry’s Hammer.” And it seems to me that John Kerry’s handlers have been listening to a little too much Johnny Cash these days.

Back in the good old days (at least for us democrats) of late ’03 and early ’04, not a day went by without some fiery liberal throwing some pretty big stones at the Bush camp. After all, the Ragin’ Cajun himself, James Carville, acknowledges that a campaign can’t get anywhere by lying on its back. But sometime between the Fall of Dean and the Democratic Convention, it was decided that all Kerry had to do was be Not Bush. His camp decided that the best position to take was a supine one. Nowadays, who even knows if Kerry fought with or against the Viet Cong!

The cautious democrats -the “bad boss” apparently -decided it was too much of a risk and too costly to swing the hammer at Bush. If Kerry is a recipe, it looks like Emeril switched out the cup of vinegar for a couple tablespoons of vanilla. Now this wouldn’t be so upsetting if our candidate was, say, Joe Lieberman. He ain’t got too much to crow about in the first place. But Kerry’s got plenty of muscles; he’s just not doing anything with them.

Say the war in Iraq is wrong. Just say it. A thousand soldiers are dead and trying to defend that silly vote hasn’t got you any new support anyway. Call Bush out for being connected to the Swifties. Not only that, call him a draft dodger! You served and he didn’t. None of this, “I respect any and all military service” crap. You volunteered to go to Vietnam and he didn’t, and somehow your character is being called into question? It’s garbage and you know it.

Now, I know you want to take the high ground. I know you want to try to keep an air of civility in the campaign. But you didn’t talk smack in your convention and Bush did, and guess who got the bounce? Americans don’t want a courteous debate; they want a steel cage death match. And you’ve got the chops – I know it! Next time your handlers tell you to be careful what you say about Bush, take a page from your wife and tell them to shove it.

Patrick Gibbons can be contacted at p.gibbons@umiami.edu.

September 17, 2004

Reporters

The Miami Hurricane

Student newspaper at the University of Miami


Around the Web
  • Miami Herald
  • UM News
  • Error

He’s all grown up. Yet University of Miami defensive end Scott Patchan is only 20. Two reconstructiv ...

Michael Rumph, former Cane cornerback and current cornerbacks coach, has mentioned, along with every ...

N’Kosi Perry, definitely on the quiet side, met the media for the first time on Monday. He’s the Mia ...

On a day in which University of Miami football coach Mark Richt said veteran quarterbacks Malik Rosi ...

Week three of fall camp began today, and the first practice after Saturday’s first scrimmage of camp ...

María de Lourdes Dieck-Assad, a world-renowned economist and former ambassador, fills a new role for ...

Through the U Dreamers Grant, DACA students find essential support as they pursue their college degr ...

Former University of Miami Dean of Students William W. ‘Bill’ Sandler, Jr. passed away on August 6 a ...

Researchers use a powerful technique known as Interferometric Synthetic Aperture Radar to show an in ...

UM’s First Star Academy supports foster care youth. ...

RSS Error: A feed could not be found at http://www.hurricanesports.com/. A feed with an invalid mime type may fall victim to this error, or SimplePie was unable to auto-discover it.. Use force_feed() if you are certain this URL is a real feed.

TMH Twitter Feed
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly on Thursdays during the regular academic year.