Etc. Just a friend, or just gay… V has the answers

Dear V,
About a month ago I met this really great guy. We’ve been inseparable ever since. I mean, we cook together, study together, go out together and sleep together – that is stage one drowsiness to stage five R.E.M. sleep! He just got out of a very long-term relationship and even refers to me as his “emotional girlfriend,” but at the same time he sleeps naked with me and is very touchy feely. Nothing physical has happened between the two of us, yet I know for a fact that his ex still exists on the side. I don’t want to ruin our friendship, but I can’t take these mixed signals! Help!

I don’t think that you and the un-buckin’ bronco are co-existing in a mutual friendship. Bottom line – the boy is using you, and even worse, toying with you. His teasing has gotten to the point where it’s just plain mean. And if his ex is still sittin’ pretty on the side? – well harrumph! Bottom line, either clean up the friendship to a non-naked event or dump it. There are plenty of boys who will not only sleep naked with you, but get frisky too. Meow!

Dear V,
Since moving to Miami, I have made many, many gay male friends whom I love very dearly. We spend a lot of time together, but I am by no means a “fag hag.” The other night one of my gay friends spent the night at my place. I figured that he would crash on the couch, but later that night he came into my room and crawled into bed with me. I was awakened by his roving hands on my body and his lips trying to kiss mine! I was so shocked that I turned over and pretended to sleep, but he still continued to caress me. The next morning I pretended that nothing had happened, but should I continue to let our incident lie low or should I bring it up with him?
–What’s up with boys these days?

What’s up,
Unless your very curious friend happens to lay his hands upon you again (and the chances are he’s very embarrassed about what he did), I would definitely just let it lay low. Save him, yourself, and your friendship the blatant awkwardness of the incident and move on. However, if there is even the slightest bit of sexual tension between the two of you, speak up for heaven’s sake! You deserve to know what’s up, and hopefully he’ll feel comfortable enough around you to tell you his deal.

See you next week, my troubled ones

Please direct all pressing questions and comments to dearv@hotmail.com or to the Dear V box in The Hurricane’s office. All inquiries will be treated with the utmost confidentiality.

September 10, 2004


The Miami Hurricane

Student newspaper at the University of Miami

Around the Web
  • Miami Herald
  • UM News
  • Error

The unopened Christmas gift that University of Miami defensive coordinator Manny Diaz recently spoke ...

Joseph Yearby declared early for the NFL draft. Gus Edwards transferred to Rutgers. Trayone Gray is ...

The University of Miami is in conversations about playing the University of Alabama to kick off the ...

He’s all grown up. Yet University of Miami defensive end Scott Patchan is only 20. Two reconstructiv ...

Michael Rumph, former Cane cornerback and current cornerbacks coach, has mentioned, along with every ...

University of Miami students and researchers are blogging during a month-long expedition in the Gulf ...

María de Lourdes Dieck-Assad, a world-renowned economist and former ambassador, fills a new role for ...

Through the U Dreamers Grant, DACA students find essential support as they pursue their college degr ...

UM students talk about their internships up north in a city that never sleeps. ...

Former University of Miami Dean of Students William W. ‘Bill’ Sandler, Jr. passed away on August 6 a ...

RSS Error: A feed could not be found at http://www.hurricanesports.com/. A feed with an invalid mime type may fall victim to this error, or SimplePie was unable to auto-discover it.. Use force_feed() if you are certain this URL is a real feed.

TMH Twitter Feed
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly on Thursdays during the regular academic year.