Life & Art Associate Editor
sssssssssssssssss LOVELY JOLIE ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Damn…Angelina Jolie is so hot with those thick, succulent lips; I’d break up with my girl for a day just to get on that. But, fantasies aside, it should be known that she’s a good woman, boys, often traveling for philanthropic motives, and she doesn’t tolerate sloppy drunks (that rules you out, Hunter…but you’re in NYC covering CMJ so you wouldn’t care).
Word is that Jolie’s been in Marrakech, Morocco, filming Alexander, when co-star Colin Farrell got smashed at Le Meridien and did justice to his nickname “Cockout Colin” by whipping out his member and putting out smokes on hotel furniture, making the revolted Jolie leave the hotel.
Damn drunkard fool.
More on film: Robert De Niro has prostate cancer, but will still start filming in mid-March the sequel to Meet the Parents. Meet the Fockers (haha, the word is fock) will focus on the son-in-law’s family, joking on why some parents would name their child Gaylord M. Focker. How clever.
sssssssss MUSTACHIO BASHIO IS THIS SATURDAY, NOVEMBER FIIIRRRTH ssssssssssssssss
More details on this this week. Look for drunk Scottish guys on campus with huge ‘staches and pints passing out flyers…or just look for Kevin [who’s a stoned surfer], Hunter [who is Scottish but might already be RIP up in New York from all the VICE and trashy Big Apple hipster girls], Sven [who’s a Viking], Omar [who’s not French], Skiz [who’s Jewish], and Nate [who’s got a huge ‘stache].
Guys who plan on attending need to either grow a ‘stache (you can do it) or buy a fake one and a nice monocle up in Hialeah or at a costume shop on the beach.
It’s going to be slimey people, absolutely slimey.
2,000 CluE?? J-ello Shots
’80s electro by DJ Jimmy James of L&A, WVUM 90.5, Vice, and Revolver
’90s hip hop by DJ Contra of the #1 stunna g-unit shaolin diplomats
Live performance: 2 dudes from The Empirical Mile
Live performance: MC Arjun of L&A Music Inc. and DUCKS ARE DEAD crews
The Rapture “Echoes” listening partay (join us in the praise)
The RZA “Birth of a Prince” listening partay (Wu-tang’s back kids. Word.)
Comp’d T-shirts and skate-tips (naaah) courtesy of M.I.A Skateshop
For directions: email Soasis@aol.com and Biigdeano@aol.com.
And for those who want to blabber on and on about journalistic ethics (and we’ll challenge anyone on this), please take note that publications ranging from Miami New Times (which threw the advance Kill Bill screening) to The Village Voice (which throws a huge concert party in the summer) organize cool events to promote their papers and partying and good times.
ssssssssss EMINEM GETS IMMORTALIZED sssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Damn…I foresaw this happening a while ago. Eminem (or his persona at least) has been a lingering subject of interest to the media and the people since his inception with The Slim Shady LP even though he showed his illest skillz on his first effort, the much slept-on Infinite.
It’s been downhill from there, but Anthony Bozza, a former Rolling Stone journalist, has just penned his biography, Whatever You Say I Am.
Reportedly, the book avoids mushy cajoling and gives readers a compelling insider’s look into Marshall Mather’s real life since Bozza was the first to write a national story about him in 1999 and has been behind the scenes with the superstar ever since.
Fine, Eminem has had major impact on American pop culture, but he has become the perfect gimmick: a blonde haired, blue-eyed sometime-misanthropic white rapper who seems to tell everyone to fuck off, leaving his audience wanting more every time.
But, on the real, his tales about getting bullied, his crackhead mom and former trailer life, and his omnipresence in the mainstream are tired and redundant. He’s a gifted lyricist, but he’s become a colossal pop phenomenon with pot-bellied hicks in northern Florida sporting the
Eminem logo on their stained plaid shirts.